Lily Has a Little Lamb

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Theme Song

By Chantal Kreviazuk from Serendipity Soundtrack

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...

This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year
This year
This year

It's All About Heart

I love my language. It is so beautiful, not only in pronounciation, but in writing, too.

I wrote some Chinese words down and divided them into two groups I then outlined in pink the symbols that share an affinity in each group (see picture).

The words were:

    Group one
  1. Stable/stability
  2. In love
  3. Peaceful/silent
  4. Longing/miss

    Group two
  1. Happy
  2. Cherish
  3. Pleasant
  4. Sex
  5. Memory/memorize.

The common factor outlined in pink is the meaning of heart in these words. My Chinese ancestors taught me that love needs heart; being peaceful needs heart; missing someone needs heart; cherishing something needs heart.

Sex needs heart, too. "Body" isn't even mentioned in its vocabulary.

I have to explain that my analysis is over-simplified. I also missed out words that hold the heart emblem, but have negative meanings. My teachers from junior high and senior high may give me an E for this analysis but If I follow and explain the rules of the structure of Chinese words, it will be too complicated and boring. In this way, it becomes kind of romantic, doesn't it?

I chose "stable/stability" as the first example in the first group, because I was inspired by a post of Ali's in a conversation with his friend 'B'.

"I thought women always wanted stability in a man," he said to his friend.

She had replied, "A woman wants a man to make her tremble as she waits for him to walk across the room and get into bed, not knowing what position he'll give a whirl tonight."

I thought something was missing between these two lines at first because I thought Ali's "stability" refered to heart/love, not sex.

Stability needs heart, said my ancestor. To love and love still, how hard is it?

It's so simple really, but usually, the most simple thing is the most difficult thing. It needs not only one heart, but two, and on the subject of sex, I think that how the two hearts feel is as important as how the two bodies feel.

I loved what Ali said about slow sex between lovers, once. It was in a poem of his, and I remember the consonance inside of my heart.

So why not stablility? I vote for that.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Cherry Blossom Season

Every last week of March and first week of April are cherry blossom season in Tokyo, like other places in Japan, this city is painted pink and white. It is the most romantic sign of spring's coming and emblem of love. Different people from different places gather at where sakura burst into blossom and their smile is as pretty as those pink and white beauties.

Old buddies,Some young photographer, happy parents with their new born family member, Japanese or foreign lovers, university freshmen, mother and son, an old married couple, and all sorts of people enjoy good meals and sakura under a night veil. In spring as well as a revival of life, various kinds of love show their vitality as well.

Soon cherry blossom season in Tokyo will come to an end this year, but new lives are just about to start.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

How Come

If you are the soundest shoulder I can rely on whenever I am in tears,
How come you are also the reason that make me cry in aching pain?

If you are the deepest ocean able to contain everything about me,
How come there are still secrets I could not reveal?

If you are the one,

How come I still hesitate?

Without any warning, sorrow descended on. Feeling so against to the joy in the family restaurant, the only thing I could do is ducking my head and let the tears drop into my gratin. A tear drop would not make it salty, but could make it become tasteless.

I know the answer. I am just a wimp afraid to put into aciton.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Please Don't Make Me Look Like A Joke

Great thanks to Ali for helping with the checking and corrections.

On March 14, White Valentine's Day in Japan, I went to the exhibition of a woman most men would readily present their hearts to, even they did not recieve any gifts or chocolate from her. She is the goddess of Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe.

The information on the exhibition's website explained that it consisted of photos from a digital photo art collection called "Marilyn by Moonlight", and lots of her dresses and accessories. The title of the exhibition in Japanese means "Secrets to Marilyn Monroe's Beauty". I was excited about being able to see her dresses personally because I am interested in the field of evening dress/wedding dress design and I was undoubtedly satisfied after seeing the exhibition. I will put some dresses I sketched up here later.

Marilyn's unhappiness in her latter life and her mysterious death are often discussed by people, but they were not mentioned in any information of this exhibition. At the show room, people praised her face, her body and her dresses and I did so at first. Soon I discovered something people ignored. It was the words on the second photo and they were "Please don't make me look like a joke."

I went back to see the first photo and found there were something written on it, too. "I was never used to being happy. That wasn't something I was ever counting on. "

I started to write down all the words I saw on the photos and the translation in Japanese under them. The Japanese translation sometimes gave more then the English, but because I did not want to change any original words from Marilyn Monroe, I tried to translate only one sentence below back in English, which was showed in light blue. I think that one is important to the whole meaning. Here are those words.

Big breasts, Big ass, Big deal! Can I be anything else? Gee, how long can you be sexy? A sex symbol becomes a thing, and I just hate to be a thing.

I feel that beauty and feminity are ageless.

When I see a mirror, It's only to improve myself as much as possible. I don't know where they got these screwy stories in front of a mirror admiring myself.

I like people, but the world make me afraid of it.

Fame, is also a burden.

Fame stirs up envy...People wonder, "who does she think she is, Marilyn Monroe?"

The studio was cinemascope - conscious...That means that it was pushing the scenery instead of pushing actors and actress. An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like one, a money machine.

Then you grow up, and you find out they make up playing very difficult on you. I wouldn't want a child of mine to go through what I 've been through.

After one month, five magazine covers appeared and they signed me...Then they dropped me after a year!

I remember when I was a kid at the movies on Saturday afternoon, I'd never come out of the movies and they'd have to come and get me. I'd sit in the front row and I'd think how wonderful it would be to be an actress. Whether what I saw was bad or good, it didn't matter.

I remember when I got the part in Gentleman Prefer Blondes. Jane Russell got $200,000 for it and I got my $500 a week. But to me it was considerable.

I said, "Well, whatever I am, I'm a blonde."

Not because of my talent...But because I never belonged to anyone individual. The public was my only family, my only Prince Charming.

I knew I belonged to the audience, that I belonged to the world.

I did have a funny feeling when I put my foot down in that wet cement, that anything's possible - Almost. I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me. I'm close. I can feel it. I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

Reality is the only thing I really held onto. Within reality, your fantasy can work...That includes acting.

And I love men sooo much, SOOO much!

Seldom did I hear people mention these words throughout the entire exhibition. They only talked about her looks. Did they even pay attention to what she had to say? It confused me as those words were plain to see on the photo, in an obvious lay out. The way the producer chose the photos and words and combined them together made me think too, because all the photos looked so happy, so nice, and so glorious, starkly contrasting with the generally sad comments, so lonely, and so desperate. What was the producer trying to say? This was definitely something that the information on the Japanese website did not reveal, and I came away feeling that the secrets to Marilyn Monroe's beauty were not the only secrets hidden in that exhibition.

But this is how we usually see celebrities, isn't it? To notice their radiance, but ignore their gloom.

Had Marilyn lived she would be celebrating her 80th birthday soon. I hope she is happier in Heaven.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Wonderful Saturday

After exhausted week days, I usually sleep til noon on Saturday for refreshment. I planned to do so yesterday, but because my roomate's part-time job location today is near Roppongi Hills, my faaavorite place in Tokyo, I decided to get up at 6:30am and go with her so we could have a nice breakfast in Starbucks Azabu, then I can go to my faaavorite book/cd/dvd store.

I did not expect that much. I mean, I did not expect for such a sunny day after damp and strong wind during the whole week. We sat at some seat beside the window, bathed in sunlight. Azabu Juban is pretty near to the modern Roppongi Hills; however, it itself is a lovely small area in a quiet, old-fasioned Japanese atmosphere.

Tokyo is such an interesting playground to me because once I am at the street of all kinds of top fasion design shops and luxurious restaurants , next I can be at the alley of Japanese traditional houses and saying hello to a gray-haired kind lady sweeping floor preparing for the opening of her store. Modern and traditional culture coexist in harmony here. All I have to do is take a turn at some street corner.

I was carrying several new stuff with me on my way home. An album from Daniel Powter, a book introducing art shops and galleries in Tokyo, three free BoConcept catalogues, some photos of the cherry blossoms in Mori Garden Roppongi Hills, and, an ever so refreshed mind.

"Bad Day " from Daniel's album is a great hit and I like it, too. But it did not fit the day, for I had a wonderful Saturday.

Thank you, Mia, and the angel I forgot to mention in lines above, the invisible angel stays with me wherever I go, whatever I do.